by Mimansha Ranjan
Men bear the pain silently. They are subjected to patriarchy just like women are. They are expected to be strong and tough. They cannot be seen crying...
Maybe I have never spoken the truth,
My twisted and woven sooth;
Maybe I have kept it inside,
All hidden in the treacherous ruth;
Maybe this is all a lie,
My smile not true;
Because lately, I have been nothing but dishonest with you.
I maintain that I am not loyal,
My deception is awful;
I can't carry on like this,
When I am not faithful.
My eyes; they lie,
And I am sure you never knew;
Because folded blind in love tonight,
You never guessed; just assumed.
I don't have the strength to face you,
Call me a cheater, a swindler or anything;
But I never meant to hurt you.
I dare you to understand,
How difficult it is to stand where I do;
I could leave you forever,
But I am not the devil,
Just a girl who is confused.
Maybe there is hope,
But wouldn't it be fine if I just left;
And never came back to you?
To the misery and broken hearts,
I turned them into ashes;
And the pieces so fine and distorted,
I am a criminal in my mind;
Because I killed you from inside,
And at no point, you deserved what I did;
But I never planned it to be like this.
I fell out of love, I kept trying,
My heart always contradicting with the integrity I had within;
Maybe I am not loyal,
And I never spoke the truth;
I cannot keep it bottled up inside,
I have started to lose.
I cannot deny that I have feelings,
For someone that is not you;
I am a bad person,
And I don't know what to do.
I cannot play the victim card,
After breaking your heart;
I will do anything you need,
To get over this shame and guilt.
Maybe it is true,
I am dishonest and unfaithful
You knew it all along,
Yet chose to be with me,
Living a lie, And believing what you see.
I am a manipulative liar,
But today I spoke the truth;
I have always been dishonest,
But there is nothing I could do.
...Honesty is a mirror that we desire but are afraid to face. To choose between truth and lie is our favourite game. And no matter how badly we want to be honest; we are entangled in the web of deception and betrayal.
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