Arts & Culture

03 september 2020
Auteur(s): Mimansha Ranjan
Literature uses the sensibility of the author to shape either an emotion, a dilemma or a narrative. This fourth poem by Mimansha Ranjan explores life on the threshold of truth.

by Mimansha Ranjan


Men bear the pain silently. They are subjected to patriarchy just like women are. They are expected to be strong and tough. They cannot be seen crying...

Maybe I have never spoken the truth,

My twisted and woven sooth;

Maybe I have kept it inside,

All hidden in the treacherous ruth;

Maybe this is all a lie,

My smile not true;

Because lately, I have been nothing but dishonest with you.

I maintain that I am not loyal,

My deception is awful;

I can't carry on like this,

When I am not faithful.

My eyes; they lie,

And I am sure you never knew;

Because folded blind in love tonight,

You never guessed; just assumed.

I don't have the strength to face you,

Call me a cheater, a swindler or anything;

But I never meant to hurt you.

I dare you to understand,

How difficult it is to stand where I do;

I could leave you forever,

But I am not the devil,

Just a girl who is confused.

Maybe there is hope,

But wouldn't it be fine if I just left;

And never came back to you?

To the misery and broken hearts,

I turned them into ashes;

And the pieces so fine and distorted,

I am a criminal in my mind;

Because I killed you from inside,

And at no point, you deserved what I did;

But I never planned it to be like this.

I fell out of love, I kept trying,

My heart always contradicting with the integrity I had within;

Maybe I am not loyal,

And I never spoke the truth;

I cannot keep it bottled up inside,

I have started to lose.

I cannot deny that I have feelings,

For someone that is not you;

I am a bad person,

And I don't know what to do.

I cannot play the victim card,

After breaking your heart;

I will do anything you need,

To get over this shame and guilt.

Maybe it is true,

I am dishonest and unfaithful 

You knew it all along,

Yet chose to be with me,

Living a lie, And believing what you see.

I am a manipulative liar,

But today I spoke the truth;

I have always been dishonest,

But there is nothing I could do.

...Honesty is a mirror that we desire but are afraid to face. To choose between truth and lie is our favourite game. And no matter how badly we want to be honest; we are entangled in the web of deception and betrayal.

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